When You Fall

"So you failed. Alright you really failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You failed. You think I care about that? I do understand. You wanna be really great? Then have the courage to fail big and stick around. Make them wonder why you’re still smiling."

-Clair Colbourn, Elizabethtown

So for all of you who've been going through hard times,

This is for you.

Deirdre, my little sis, this is especially for you.

You're stronger than you think.

So when you fall, be strong.

We all have out fair share of shit to go through.

But it's how each of us deal with it that matters.

It's hard, but once you get through,

You'll feel awesome. :)

One of the hardest things

In the years to come,
Will you think about these moments that we shared?

I'll miss you.

In the years to come,
Are you gonna think it over,

And how we lived each day with no regrets?

I would.

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to,
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you.

So we let go.

In a year from now,
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said.

Maybe.

In a year from now,
Maybe we'll see each other, standing on the same street corner though it rains.

I pray.

Each and every end is always written in the stars,
If only i could stop the World I'd make this last.

If I could, I would.

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me.

Though its the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way.

So say goodbye,
But don't you cry,

'cause true love never dies.

I'm a sap. Unfortunately.

Prayer

I've come to terms with this fact,

That if I pray so hard for something, and it doesn't come true,

There's a reason.

See, I'm Christian.

And Christians have this strong belief in prayer, myself included.

I've always believed that if you pray hard enough,

Believe completely in God's power,

That prayer will come true.

There are things that I've prayed with all my might for.

Things that I've wished with my entire being to come true.

Some of these things came true,

Some didn't.

When they didn't, I kept asking why.

Why couldn't it come true?

I believed, didn't I?

I trusted, didn't I?

So what went wrong?

As time passed, and I grew,

I grew to believe that it happened for a reason.

I mean, God has always known what's best for me.

He's always loved me, given me everything I've asked Him for.

He's never really denied me anything that was good for me.

So if He denies me this,

I'm pretty sure it's for a greater reason that I can't see just yet.

I am His child.

And there is no way He would do anything to harm me.

This is my faith.

So what I'm going to do now,

Is to put my trust in God.

He knows better than I do,

If there was anyone who knew the right way,

He would.

I've let go the need to know why,

I'll take what answers You supply,

You know better than I.

-Better Than I, David Campbell

Neverland

What if, Neverland existed?

As little kids, most of us wanted to grow up as quickly as possible.

That's why some of us tend to raid our parents' closets,

Trying on their clothes,

Pretending to be "grown up-s".

I remember thinking that growing up meant more freedom.

And now I'm touching my 20-s.

For most of us when we were kids, the most hurtful thing to happen was falling down and hurting our knee.

In our minds, every thing was simple.

And people weren't hard on you, even when you made mistakes.

Well, I must admit, there are times when I wish I could go back to my childhood.

Growing up = More responsibilities.

At times, you stand to lose more.

But then again,

Growing up = More opportunities, too.

So, is it good or bad?

I think it's a bit of both.

But when you really think about it....

Do we really "grow up"?

I mean, some adults don't even act mature.

I have an aunt who acts about as badly as a 4 year old.

So do we really "mature"?

Is there anyone out there who we can completely say are..... "Mature"?

Bonjour!

After New York, this is the place I wanna be.

I'm this restless creature who loves travelling.

I cannot stay in one place for too long.

I'll rot.

My dream is to move to New York.

But I want France to be my second home.

There are so many places I want to go to before I die.

Guess that's one reason why I have commitment issues.

A guy cannot possibly wait so long for a girl like me to settle down.

I mean, who the hell would wait for me to finish gallivanting the whole world and come back to him?

Besides, I don't even know if I want to make him wait.

It's not fair, especially for him.

Maybe I'm just not ready.

Ah, well. I still have my whole life ahead of me.

I may not know what tomorrow holds,

But I know Who holds tomorrow.

And I know Who holds my hand. :)

Surprise Surprise

So there I was, innocently logging into my Blogger account and I saw......

Wah, 327 comments? Since when I so famous ah?

So I entered my comment moderator, aaaaaandddddd.............

327 comments of the SAME COMMENT.

What the hell. You blardy spammers need to get a life, seriously.

Funnily Enough

AHAH! So it's been one hell of a week, and I've been so freaking busy that I've lost touch with the internet world. Now for those who don't know, I've started my internship about a week ago. And I must say, I love it there! So yes, life is good. :) Oh and another thing, my feature article in The Star will be out soon on July 14th.

So look out for it! It's on the Stuff@School section. And I'll be working on a new one pretty soon.

You know when I was younger (damn son that word makes me feel old),

I never wanted to get into the corporate world.

I always thought, HAH what for get myself into these shits.

People backstabbing each other all over (okay not all the time lah, I learned that recently). Wearing boring office wear. OH PLEASE.

I wanted something more.. Relaxing.

That was then.

As I grew, I grew to love work.

The adrenaline rush you get when you're in the middle of rushing.

Call me crazy, but I love that.

So here I am, choosing to be a suit.

To wear a suit.

To be an account executive.

A person who meets people, manages people, motivates people,

Is at the front of the battlefield of the company.

A person who basks in the limelight (very important here, you NEED to want to shine.).

I was never that.

When I was younger, I mean.

I was contented being in the background, quietly helping.

But now, it's so different.

I want to shine.

I want people to see me,

To hear me,

To know that I'm not just any other person on Earth.

Isn't it funny how things turn out?

So

This is why I am MIA:

1. Frequent overtime at work.

2. Work.

3. More work.

4. I have no time to write what I have in mind.

5. I am too tired.

6. So tired, in fact, I'm too lazy to give any more reasons.

7. Uh I'm too lazy to think now.

In short, I am so busy that I am actually taking a few seconds out of my very precious time to type this. See? Aren't I a good person? :)

Okay now let's see (makes looooong list of things to do before tomorrow)..........................

Spotlight: On The Pierces

Now why is it that I have never talked about this duo?

After the first song I've heard from these two (Secret), I was completely hooked.

They have a style completely their own, and that shows creativity.

The duo comprises of two sisters - Allison and Catherine Pierce who hail from Birmingham, Alabama.

So far, they have had 3 albums - The Pierces, Light of the Moon, and Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge.

The duo appeared on Gossip Girl, performing two of their songs (and personal favourites of mine) - Secret and Three Wishes.

What I like about this band is that they are unconventional. And I love that.

This is a very sinister song that talks about keeping secrets.

The beauty of it isn't that it sounded evil.

The thing is, it's meant to sound evil. Yet it's just so cool you can't help but like it.

I predict great things for this band. Not in the mainstream, I think.

But Indie. Definitely Indie.

BREAKING NEWS: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer is OUT!

OH MY GOSH I CANNOT WAIT. *squeals like deranged fan girl*

Please oh please don't screw this up like you did the previous ones!!!! *prays*

Choices

You know, I had a variety of choices to choose from.

I could've pursued art,

Painting objects, landscapes, animals, people.... Call it what you will.

I could've pursued music.

Continued my violin lessons,

Get my diploma,

Join a band,

Tried out for the Malaysian Youth Orchestra.

I could've pursued something in science,

Be a doctor, dermatologist, dentist....

Something my family members thought would be "respectable".

But here I am, in Advertising.

Due to starting internship, and possibly my career.

I'm not regretting.

But there's this small part of me that's yearning every now and then,

Just every now and then,

To perform once again.

To stand in the limelight, and play my violin.

I'm not sure if it's ever gonna happen,

So I'm waiting.

I guess the whole passion in music never left me.

Come to think of it, it's in my blood.

My entire family loves music.

About half of us can play some instrument or other.

I miss it so much, I feel as though I could break if I don't do something about this.

Fingers crossed. :)

In the years to come,
Will you think about these moments that we shared?
In the years to come,
Are you gonna think it over,
And how we lived each day with no regrets?
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to,
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you.

[chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me.
Though its the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way.
So say goodbye,
But don't you cry,

'cause true love never dies.

In a year from now,
Maybe there'll be things we'll wish we'd never said.
In a year from now,
Maybe we'll see each other, standing on the same street corner though it rains.
Each and every end is always written in the stars,
If only i could stop the World i'd make this last.

[Chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me.
Though it's the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way.
So say goodbye,
But don't you cry,
'cause true love never dies.

And when you need my arms to run into,
I'll come for you.
Nothing will ever change the way i feel.

[Chorus]
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me.
Though it's the hardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way.
So say goodbye,

But don't you cry,
Because a true love never dies.

__________________________________

Hey you, yeah you.

You're not gonna read this, I think.

But this expresses exactly how I'm feeling.

So I dedicate this beautiful song to you.

I wish it didn't have to turn out this way,

But it's a choice you've made, so I won't stop you.

They say that if you love a person, you'll let them go.

So I'm letting you go.

Smile, be yourself, don't ever lose yourself.

As long as you're happy, I'm happy.

I don't care how you're feeling.

But I know exactly how I feel.

I'll always, always love you.

In the End,

After getting hurt,

You gotta pick yourself up,

You gotta know you have to move on,

Despite the hurt,

The pain,

How much you still don't understand,

And how much you're wondering why you're doing this.

You just have to.

Because the clock still ticks,

The sun still rises,

Just as surely as it will set.

You know you just have to.

So stand up,

Walk,

And move on.

'Cos you're stronger than this.

In a Serious Need to Vent

I tossed,

I turned,

I counted sheep.

Nothing worked.

Conclusion, I can't blardy sleep.

%$#^%&$$*

And I think I know why. -.-

Can I?

I can.

Just not right now. :)

Guilty Pleasure

This is it, I'm coming out of the closet.

I love Korean music.

I swoon over the hot Korean guys.

I am a (borderline) Korean fan girl.

Big bang rocks kay.

Especially Top. Mm that voice. ;)

Here their latest video, and I must say, they are getting better and better.

I'm happy to say

That emo Eileen has gone!

Yes! No more annoyingly emo posts because she has packed her bags and moved to Antarctica. :D

In comes completelynonsensicallysenselessfilledwithtakdekerjaness Eileen.

*jumps for joy* Clap lah! Feel happy for me! :D

Unfortunately I am super bored.

Like seriously, I can go watch my plants grow, and that would be more interesting.

I feel so jobless (padahal I do have a job lah, but I called for another day off cos my wisdom tooth is aching)

On that note, why do they call it a wisdom tooth?

It's not like I've gotten any wiser.

And all four of mine have grown out.

Am I supposed to be four times wiser? -.-

I would totally yank out all four of my teeth, but apparently I'd die of blood loss.

Apparently after pulling one out, I have to stay in for 4 days.

Which means, I need to rest a total of 16 days when I do yank all four teeth.

That would be the lesser of two evils, considering that the first time one of my wisdom teeth grew out, I was in so much pain that I had fever.

But then there's another problem,

I'm going for internship in 2 weeks lah.

I suppose my best bet would be to yank at least ONE of them out lah.

Which means I need to go for surgery.

Which means I might not be able to talk for days.

I don't think I have a problem with not talking,

It's just that, it's really really annoying.

Especially when I'm annoyed with someone and I dearly wish to scold them about it but I can't.

I can totally imagine the scene:

Random College Mate (RCM): AUNTIE EILEEN!!!!!

Me And My Muffled Mouth (MAMMM): MMMMMPHHH!!!

My Cynically Annoyed Self (MCAS): Shaaaddaaaaap lah!

RCM: Oh that's right, YOU CAN'T TALK! HAHAHAHA!

MAMMM: MMMPH MMM MPHH!

MCAS: Evil being, spawn of Satan, I CURSE YOU!

RCM: Poor little Eileen, can't speak. HAHAHAH!

MAMMM: MMMPH MMPH MM!!

MCAS: AAAHHH SCREW YOU!

Yes that just about sums it up.

Don't get any ideas, you.

Be My Escape

Yes yes this blog is getting super depressing.

Here's... Ah, an attempt to lighten the mood.

I love Relient K. :)

However, I prefer this version of the song, compared to the original one.

This song is meant to be sung slow, I feel.

The original one had too many instruments, and was sung a bit too fast.

Not to say it wasn't good. It's just that the orchestral placement, and tempo were a bit off.

As in, it didn't suit the melody, and especially, the deeply meaningful lyrics.

I mean, I heard the original first and I thought it was cool.

Then I found the acoustic, and I thought it sounded perfect.

After

So many nights,

Of going between emotions,

Of wondering,

Of hurting,

Of insomnia,

Of being confused,

Of crying,

She finally decided to let go.

He never contacted,

She wondered what happened.

She worried,

She feared,

She hurt.

She felt that he was a stranger, no longer known to her.

So she decided it's time to let go.

At least there was a direction.

Instead of going in between holding on and letting go.

Because it tore her apart.

Because holding on felt so much more painful.

She fought,

God knows how she fought.

But it was no use.

So she raised the white flag,

And left.

It was all a dream.

A lie.

I

Am no fluffy bunnies,

Fairytales,

Happy endings,

Riding off into the sunset with your knight in shining armor person.

People who know me, would know that the last thing I am,

is girly.

Like the all things pink and cutesy and princessy.

Nope. Sorry wrong number.

Hello, I'm one of the largest cynics on Earth. Ask anyone.

I don't believe in happy endings.

I think that every story with a happy ending is complete bullshit.

Despite (and I may sound hypocritical) how satisfying you feel when you read a happy ending.

I think people made that happy ending just to make us all feel better about ourselves.

To think, oh if this happened to so-and-so (insert dreamy hero/heroine name here),

It can happen to me.

Hence, hope (cue shining light with angels singing in background)

Bullshit.

Problems don't go away.

They come and go,

Disturb the calm.

Cause discord among people,

Ties severed,

Hearts broken.

It comes to a point when you have to realize that after slaying one dragon,

A newer, meaner one comes out.

So you can't expect to ride into the sunset peacefully and nothing else is going to disturb your happy lives.

The only thing we can do about it, is to solve the problem.

Work,

Persevere.

I don't believe in sitting, waiting, and dreaming.

Hoping the problem solves itself.

You may as well crossover to lah-lah-land.

I slay my own monsters.

But in solving that problem comes another problem:

It depends if both parties want to solve it.

If one wants to and the other doesn't, what's the point?

So there's another problem,

The party that wants to solve the problem has to think of a way to solve that problem,

But how does the party do it when the other party is unwilling?

And in that problem comes another problem.

And if that problem isn't solved, the problem doesn't go away.

Am I making sense?

Probably not.

Bottom line, happy endings, no such thing.

I never believed in it, and I never will.

Besides, who says every story needs an ending?

If there's an ending to each of our stories,

It'd be death.

Sounds depressing, don't it?

Now there's another problem...

And again I'm not making any sense.