Nicholas

I pity the guy.

First off, he's fat.

So fat, in fact, I fear he may die of obesity.

What with all the milk and cookies the children give him...

He's probably at a huge risk of heart disease and diabetes.

His time may soon come.

He's always having to keep track of who's naughty and nice.

Imagine, there are a bajillion children around the world.

Parents have so much trouble in keeping track of one.

But this guy?

He da man.

He's like a bajillion years old, and he still remembers the kids!

I bet he stalks them.

But seriously, how the hell does one person take care of a bajillion kids?

I think it's his elves.

I think they do the dirty work for him.

They probably wear invisibility suits.

And they go around stalking children.

They probably follow them everywhere.

Even to the toilet.

They probably write down every single deed they do.

Damn these guys are good.

But poor Nick has to process who's naughty and nice.

I bet the Missus complains.

I bet he's so busy he neglects her sometimes.

Like at night, when she wants to "get it on" with him,

His response would probably be:

"No dear, not tonight, I'm too tired."

When most husbands go "Yeah baby!"

So the poor guy probably doesn't have a thriving sex life either.

And who pays him anyway?

I mean, GIVING toys to people?

That can't be cheap.

And how can he pay those elves?

And kids these days, they don't want dolls and toy cars anymore.

They want iPhones, iPads, iPods, Wii, Xbox and all.

So I'm pretty sure the guy has to pay double for whatever presents he gives.

Man it sure is hard.

And all he gets is a fancy schmancy "Saint" in front of his name.

Just to make it more glamourous.

And as December approaches,

I bet he has more sleepless nights.

On the 24th, the poor old guy has to lug a huge sack (it's a wonder how his back doesn't break. Maybe it has, but that would've been catastrophic),

Drive reindeer and fly all over the world.

Go to every single house (do you even know how many there are?),

And stuff himself down chimneys.

As if it isn't enough that the guy is obese.

And before stuffing himself down the damned things,

He has to make sure that they aren't lighted.

Just in case his butt gets burned.

Plus, he's done this for hundreds of years!

It's a wonder that it hasn't driven him bonkers.

No wonder he laughs funnily.

I mean who laughs with a "Hohoho!"?

Poor guy.

I think we should have a "St. Nicholas Appreciation Day".

At the very least we'd commemorate his services,

Instead of leaving milk and cookies.

Heck, it's healthier!

Poor poor Nick.

(Disclaimer: Inspired by Neil Gaiman's Nicholas)

A story to share

I was on the bus today to get ready to pick up the girlfriend from the hospital.

Then I noticed a man that sat right across from me.

As the bus made its stops.

The bus started to fill up more and more until it was really full.

But even through the crowd,

I could see that no one wanted to sit with him.

Was it that he looked weird?

Was it that his arms were slanted weirdly?

Was it that his eyes were different?

I look as no one sat beside him when there were clearly two spots beside him.

So I got up literally pushed aside people to sit right next to him and sat there while I listened to my iPod.

Something about him made me realize that the more different you are,

the more you get judged,

the more you get these weird looks.

Being on that bus alone made me realize,

it takes one person to make someone's day.

I felt his smile when I got off the bus.

I loved the fact that I could do that to just one person.

He’s handicap.

So what?

He ain’t perfect, and none of y'all can judge him.

Cause some of y'all are fat,

some of y'all have mad pimples,

some of y'all..wait EVERYONE has many things about them that they don’t like.

Don’t act like you’re perfect.

Act like you’re human.

That’s it.

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Disclaimer :

I didn't write this. I saw this story on Tumblr and thought: Hey, he's right you know. This happens a lot, don't you think?

V-day

So it's Chinese New Year,

And Valentine's day.

A lethal combination.

Well, not really.

People say that Valentine's day is a day to celebrate love.

That's what it's supposed to be.

The day loved ones exchange candy, flowers, chocolate and gifts.

In the name of a guy named St. Valentine.

So who is this guy anyway?

According to legend,

Valentine is a priest

He served during the 3rd Century in Rome.

At the time,

the Emperor who ruled (named Claudius II) had this brilliant idea that single men made better soldiers than married men.

I guess I could see the sense of it.

I mean, if you're single, you wouldn't worry too much about the people at home,

waiting for you to come back from war in one piece.

Hence, you're probably more willing to sacrifice yourself.

So Claudius banned young men from marriage.

Guess it must've sucked for those who were in courtship.

Enter St. Valentine.

He thought that Claudius' decree was unfair.

So he continued performing marriages for young couples in secret.

Unfortunately he was discovered.

So Claudius had him killed.

There are many other stories that suggest the origins of Valentine's day.

But that'd make this entry too long.

Despite the supposedly romantic connections to this celebration,

Valentine's day is getting increasingly commercialized.

I have no qualms with the day, actually.

It's just that it's losing its actual meaning every year.

And it takes out the whole joy of it.

In my opinion lah.

So here's hoping your Valentine's has meaning.

Doesn't matter if you're single or attached.

It's the celebration of love.

And there are many kinds of love in this world.

You don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend to enjoy this day.

Just the people you love.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.